I'm not going to even pose the question of if someone has ever felt stress, because of course you have. Everyone has felt stress in some form or another. However, this personal post is going to be a stressy rant. A BIG, stressy rant.
(Is stressy even a word? It is now!)
If you are reading this, you have probably surmised by now that I am an author/writer. It's my passion, my life's work. However, it doesn't pay the bills... yet. What you can learn about me today is, I co-own a business. A techy-tech business. No, I am not the techy type, my husband, who I co-own with is. I am just the office manager and website designer.
Now, here's where my rant is coming into play today.
The most dreaded part of my job or day. A lot of you authors and writers out there I'm sure have your own websites that you designed, heck, even I have one! You're on it! However, you know that feeling you have when you spend hours perfecting YOUR design and YOUR vision? Yeah, you know that happy feeling! Now, imagine yourself spending hours on a website, making it amazing, and then.... someone makes it a wreck, an uncultured mess. All with your logo on the design section.
It's an embarrassment!
PEOPLE CAN SEE I AM THE REASON IT LOOKS AWFUL!!!
That's what my brain screams at me every time I publish a terrible website. Every time I see the torn apart remains of a once beautiful thing. All because someone decided Comic Sans was the font they NEEDED on their blog, or they NEEDED a photo added that doesn't flow well with the page.
Stress, stress, stressy-stress.
Is this a silly thing to be stressed about? Of course! I recognized how ridiculously dramatic I am. However, today, I feel so stressed out over the stupidest thing, as a website, because I have already put TEN hours into this website I am working on, and each time the client sees my finished, beautiful product, they denounce it. They tear it down, they rip away its beauty for what they prefer.
Do they deserve to have what they want? OF COURSE! However, you come to me to do the job for my expertise, and then you don't take it? You don't listen to my thoughts on what colors match/don't match, what fonts look lovely together, etc. It makes my once beautiful Atlantis into a city of ruin.
So here I am, for the third time, having just met with the client, now tearing down my Atlantis once more. The cracks are giving way, the debris is falling, the beauty is being destroyed. Now what do I do? I now give up, just like with the rest. I give up chasing my own beauty, my own idea of what the world would find appeasing, for the clients preferences. Because they want to be another run of the mill website, instead of breaking free and being something wonderful.
So here's to stress. Today's stress is website work. Tomorrow's stress could be an old man cat calling me, and the next days stresses could vary few and far between from huge to small. That's life though, isn't it? There's nothing I can do about it but exactly what I am doing now. Blogging about it in hopes someone else get's a feeling of comfort going through a struggle as well. Because we all are struggling, and we all need to be there for each other.
Until next time, here's to de-stressing. Here's to the bath bomb evenings, the bottle of wine, the marathon of some cheesy show, or the pint of ice cream that we all will need.